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Also known as : AGWÉ, AGWI, AGOUEH

God of : All Things Watery | Religion : Haitian Voodou | Persuasion : Rada

Known as 'Tadpole of the Pond' which we feel is a little understating his importance, Agwe is the Haitian god of everything in, on, around or from the water.

Agwe is the sovereign of the water of life which is pretty high up on anyone's list of important stuff. This makes him one of the more popular Loa and worhippers will spare no expence in appeasing him.

All of his favourite offerings are loaded onto small rafts and set adrift. If they sink Agwe has snaffled them and the crowd will rejoice. To avoid disappointment you could always load the raft with a few bags of cement or lead piping, or get one of those dodgy hardware store flatpack jobbies - no names mentioned, i don't want to get sued.

Rubber rings and armbands should be compulsary at his ceremonies as those mounted by Agwe have a nasty habit of throwing themselves into rapidly flowing rivers. And make sure there are no cups of water around - someone could do themselves a real mischief if they tried to jump into a mug.

Agwe lives in a huge underwater palace and probably has a huge boat too, no wonder La Sirene puts out for him, but something about Agwe bothers me : If his blessed water is so crystal clear, tasty and full of goodness why does he only ever drink champagne? It's like trusting a chef who never eats his own food to cook your dinner. Highly Suspicious.